


Super Powers Of Normal Parents

by XtaticPearl



Series: Don't Call Me Mom (Unless You're My Family) [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Avengers Family, BAMF Steve Rogers, BAMF Tony Stark, Cuddling & Snuggling, Decisions, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Kid Fic, M/M, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, Superhusbands (Marvel), Team as Family, Uncle Rhodey, You Having Daddy Issues Does Not Mean That You Have To Be A Shitty Dad, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7673665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trigger happy people are dangerous in general but trigger happy people with de-aging guns? Those are the kind you want to hide from or catch sneakily. When Steve and Tony get called away for an important meeting in Wakanda, their team has to face one such trigger happy teenage scientist who ends up converting all of them into kids. Heeding Pepper's distress signal, both the leaders of the team come back in time to take charge of their toddler team.<br/>At first Nick Fury and Maria Hill are hesitant to let Tony take any charge of the super-kids, even with Steve's assurance. An observation makes them realize how much they have yet to understand about the genius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Super Powers Of Normal Parents

**Author's Note:**

> I have just one thing to say : This fic is NOT for those who think that Tony would be a shitty parent. Okay? Okay. If you're not one of them, please go ahead and enjoy this story. I love you :D
> 
> I'd also like to declare right away that I am not a parent myself and request you to not even consider any parenting technique or advice from this fic. This is purely based on what I have observed in brief from my cousins and is meant for entertainment only. Parenting is NOT a bed of rose petals or a swish-flick-magic kind of experience. It's tough and straining but I believe equally rewarding. The characters here are kids just for a couple of days, so a lot of major problems and worries that come with parenting are not addressed. In short, this is not a parenting guide fic. It's a domestic fluff fic and I hope you enjoy it in that manner <3

"I don't think this is a good idea," Fury told Steve, without even looking at Tony, who was alternating between glaring at Nick and reading up the report, "In fact, I think this is the worst idea we'll have."

"Coming from your esteemed presence, it practically makes it the best idea ever," Tony shot back without looking up from his tab but Steve gave him a cursory glance before staring Nick down.

"Fury, there really is nothing else to think about. This is our team we're talking about," Steve said plainly, shooting Maria an unimpressed stare when she eyed Tony distrustfully, "Also, you've got no real hold on them. We're not part of SHIELD anymore."

"I understand your issue, Steve, but these are not normal kids," Maria explained and Steve could practically feel Tony freeze even with his back to him, "They are powered and volatile at worst. If there is an incident under your care -"

"-then, as always, we will be held responsible," Tony interrupted and smiled a sharp quirk of his lips at her, "Now, seeing as you have no legal or otherwise right to keep  _our_ team-mates contained here, we will be taking them and we will be taking them right now. I think you've already had them for way too long."

With that declaration, the genius stalked out of the room with an arrogant swagger of a man who couldn't care less. Steve watched him go with a tired but amused small smile before he turned to face Fury and raised a hand, effectively stopping him before he argued more.

"Nick, we're both tired, worried and running on adrenaline from our mission. We had to find out about our team-mates getting de-aged by Loki from Pepper rather from you. Tony's pissed as it is and I'm more anxious about Loki getting away than you having objections to our decision," Steve said matter-of-factly, "So just don't."

As Steve was about to leave the room, he paused and looked back at Maria one last time.

"And Agent Hill?" he called out, "As a cautionary advice, don't ever call one of the team 'not normal' in front of Tony or me again. We know who they are. Also, you might want to watch out for a sudden prank for the one you've already said. Tony's got a good memory unfortunately for you."

Feeling satisfied that he had done his duty as a responsible citizen by warning Maria of the guaranteed retaliation, Steve nodded to himself and went to catch up to his partner and boyfriend who was herding a gang of de-aged Avengers.

**********

"Okay, we need a chart," Pepper said primly, whipping out her tablet and eyeing the kids in front of her, in varying states of nudity and tiredness, "We need to sort out individual data - age, health details, allergies, clothing size, everything. Steve, any news on Thor's family or friends giving us details about his..erm.. _thunderness_?"

Steve carefully extracted Natasha's jam-streaked hand from his hair and used a napkin from his fanny pack to try and wipe the mess as he answered Pepper.

"Jane got through to Sif. Apparently she was vacationing in the Bahamas last week," Steve said and missed Pepper's stunned look as he tried to wipe Natasha's face without poking her eye.

"We could always start with the data we already have," Tony chimed in from the floor where he lay with Wanda and Pietro sitting on his tummy and chest, playing with his hands that had elastic finger gloves on them, "Like the age and health details."

Pepper nodded and categorized the age groups according to the data Friday had scanned till now.

**_Oldest to Youngest:_ **

_Bruce_ \- 3 years old

 _Thor_ \- 3 years old (Midgardian estimate)

 _Bucky -_ 2 1/2 years old

 _Sam -_ 2 years old

 _Clint -_ 2 years old

 _Pietro -_ 1 1/2 years old

 _Wanda -_  1 1/2 years old

 _Natasha -_ Thirteen months

That had been surprising, or at least  **more** surprising than the common de-aged part. Tony and Steve had assumed when they landed that all the members would either be aged the same or reduced to their teens, because everybody knew that teenage years were the real torture for emotionally repressed heroes. The current scenario of all of them being less than five was part good and part worrying, especially since the team had been trying to fight  **Loki** when this had happened and apparently it hadn't been the Liesmith who had done this after all. Coulson had reported that it was some teenage kid with a mad scientist's brain and itchy hands of a toddler who had 'experimented' a de-aging gun on the group just for gags. SHIELD was still trying to track the fellow and Tony was sure that with Nicky's current fury, the kid would have a tough time walking scott-free. 

"Vision, how're you doing?" Tony asked without getting up and Pepper looked up from her tablet across the hall to the small tent Tony and Vision had set up an hour ago. In a way they had been lucky that Vision hadn't been affected by whatever ray the mad scientistling had used, because they needed all hands on deck to keep a close watch on the kids.

"Bucky and Sam are building their fourth cracker pyramid," the android informed calmly and Tony raised a thumbs-up without looking. Steve balled up the fifth soiled napkin and threw it in a perfect arc into the far kept waste paper bin as he gently stroked Natasha's back.

"Friday, how're Rhodey and the boys?" Steve asked quietly and a live screen opened up to show Rhodey sitting and helping both Bruce and Thor build a robot cat in Thor's room, because the God had been the most to panic when they had come back to the Tower. Thor was crushing more parts than helping but Rhodey had a patient look on his face as he simply handed over a new part and guided the Asgardian to try again.

Rhodey had come in for added help when he had heard of Tony and Steve taking charge of 8 superheroes turned kids. Since he refused to go anywhere close to the kids below 3, he had been put in charge of Thor and Bruce till Sif came back with news about Thor and any possible leads on where Loki might be currently.

"Thanks, Friday," Steve muttered with a small smile and looked down at the floor, catching Tony's gaze. Tony was having two conversations in wild gesticulation with both Pietro and Wanda but still managed to grin at Steve without breaking sentence. Steve found himself grinning back even as Natasha bit his cheek for fun. It was maybe weird but both Tony and Steve were not looking too closely into Wanda & Pietro's adorable comfort level with the genius. Well, Steve wasn't looking into it because it was rare enough that Wanda showed that level of trust in most people and Pietro hardly stayed in one place. Tony, on the other hand, was trying to fill these moments into the holes that the past had left in his relationship with the Maximoff twins. Sure, they had long past moved beyond that but there was always a feeling of inadequacy and part sadness in the back of Tony's mind whenever he thought about Wanda blaming him for her parents' death. He pushed that thought away again and focused on the present, watching as the little girl tried to make his fingers make a snapping noise.

"Any progress with Phil and Clint?" Pepper asked Friday and the AI switched the screen to another live feed, of the balcony where Phil and Clint were trying to solve a simple jigsaw puzzle, Clint not looking at the older man and keeping his movements carefully out of reach, avoiding any touch. Clint had been the most reclusive of them all, avoiding people and hugs or even simple touches, freezing whenever those happened. Phil had come by to help out and Steve had figured that it would be for the better, since Phil knew Clint the longest.

"Well, he's not biting anymore," Pepper observed and added that to her notes before she got up and smoothed down her skirt, "Alright, I'll go and check on the rest of the clothes and other arrangements. You guys hold fort till I come back and then we'll go over the rest of the details."

"Pillows, blankets and mattresses. Don't miss them out," Tony reminded from the floor and for a moment Steve caught a soft, fond look on the CEO's face before she nodded and left.

Between Tony and Phil they managed to wrangle up a quick dinner and Steve, Rhodey and Vision were left to supervise the kids in the living room. Phil skittered around Tony, taking care of the green beans as Tony finished up his mac n cheese _,_ both men moving in tandem around each other. Friday was playing the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon on TV and Tony could hear sporadic shouts of excitement from Thor and sometimes Bucky. 

"Think we need ice-cream?" Phil asked as he squinted at the spread they had put up.

Tony considered the question and checked the freezer, bringing out a Tupperware of Neapolitan that had replaced the cleaned out Rocky Road of last week. "I think we're covered," he informed Phil and the agent quirked his lips slightly at the box before nodding. Everybody knew that Neapolitan was Tony's favorite and it was only natural to expect the genius to adamantly maintain that any child would pick the idea of three flavors over a single one.

"Friday, inform the battalion that grub is ready," Tony said imperiously and soon heard a loud cheer from the living room that had Phil rolling his eyes.

"Tooony!" Clint squealed with wide eyes, now obviously in better spirits as he sat on Vision's back while the android flew gently into the kitchen, "Tony look!"

"Yes, yes, Bart, you're a real boy!" Tony replied solemnly but Clint simply laughed and shook his head violently enough to almost topple off.

"I can fly!"

"True that R Kelly," Tony winked, "You wanna get off your personal jet for now and catch some dinner? I bet you're hungry after all those flying maneuvers."

"Nooo" Clint held on to Vision's neck tightly and looked sullen, like Tony was going to take away his new flying person from him.

"Why don't you sit with Vision then? You can get back to your flying adventures once you're done," Tony offered with a grin and Clint considered the idea as the others filed in slowly before nodding at Tony and getting off Vision's back, dragging the android by the hand to his seat. Steve raised an eyebrow as he walked in with Natasha on his chest and one hand holding Wanda's hand but Tony simply shrugged and settled down to eat. The adults quickly decided to split up their charges with Tony and Vision taking up Clint, Wanda and Pietro, Steve taking up Bucky and Sam and Thor, Rhodey taking Bruce and Thor, leaving Phil to Natasha while keeping an eye on everyone in general. 

Tony was right in his assumption that Clint would feel fascinated and be comfortable around the twins. They were curious, a bit wary themselves and were perfect to play younger siblings to Clint, who had always had a protective streak in him. So when little Wanda shyly offered a piece of her mashed papaya to the slightly older boy, Clint blinked wondrously at the squished fruit before accepting it from her spoon. Tony acted like he hadn't noticed it when Clint quickly looked at him with a tense gaze but then winked at the boy once he had relaxed, getting a surprisingly shy smile in return. Pietro was more whisking his fruit than eating it but Tony managed to get him to direct some of the messy pulp into his mouth too in between splashing it around. The trick, Tony quickly caught on, was to make a pattern. 

_One spoon for Wanda, One spoon for Clint, One spoon for Tony aaaand.._

"One spoon for Pietro!" he said cheerfully as the white-haired kid promptly put the spoon into his mouth, eager about this new game they were playing. Tony made a mental comparison to a puppy learning to fetch but it was quickly shoved back and he continued with the small game to get all three kids to eat.

It was ridiculous and Tony had chunks of papaya and cut up mac n cheese in his hair but at the end of an exhausting but fruitful dinner, all three kids were full and possibly droopy after the entire day's exhaustion. 

"Onwards Light Brigade," Tony muttered with a soft nudge at Vision's shoulder and the android nodded before picking up Clint to carry him away as Tony wrangled the twins. Tony noticed Steve look pretty similar with a pouting pair of Sam and Bucky under his arms, chuckling softly at his boyfriend's tired eye-roll. Rhodey seemed to have fared better at first sight but then Tony noticed Rhodey's pant buttocks messed with the cheese of mac n cheese and stifled a laugh, a bit unsuccessfully going by the glare Rhodey shot him.

"How'd did they get the cheese to his back?" Steve asked with an impressed look.

"One of them is a mini-scientist and the other is a literal God. I'm surprised Rhodey doesn't have cheese  _inside_ his clothes," Tony replied with a smirk as he watched Thor lick his bowl like a literal puppy.

"Okay, chipmunks," Tony called out to Bruce and Thor with a soft whistle that got a dry look from Rhodey but really, Tony didn't care, "Time to get cleaned up. You've got more food on your face than in your bellies, I know it. If you sleep like this then we'll have a cheese factory growing from your faces tomorrow."

"No, it won't," Bruce retorted with a frown, the ever logical party-pooper.

"Yes, it will, but why don't we not experiment that this time, hmm?" Tony said smoothly and Rhodey picked Bruce off his chair before he could continue arguing with Tony, herding Thor and Bruce to the bathroom in Thor's suite, because that was huge and also the nearest.

"Agent, mini Simpson here is all yours," Tony hip-checked Clint lightly with a grin, "Bring me back a clean Bart, will you? This one will start molding soon."

"Nu-uh" Clint shook his head.

"Yuh-uh," Tony nodded and apparently Pietro liked the sound of that, picking it up and repeating  _Yuh-uh_ like it was some kind of broken rap, "Aaand that's my cue to dump mini-Kanye into the tub. Steve, you got them?" Tony looked at Bucky and Sam who were busy trying to tear Steve's back-pockets. The soldier smoothly caught both their wandering hands and nodded firmly at Tony. Dubious but left with no other choice, Tony nodded with an easy grin and turned to Vision.

"Wanna swap?" he asked as he took in the discomfort in the android's face as he held Natasha awkwardly in his arms. Vision looked sheepish for a second but quickly agreed and switched Pietro for Natasha. The little boy protested at first but then Vision's stone in the forehead caught his interest and he spent the rest of the journey trying to get it out of the android.

Bath time was, for the lack of a better word, hell. Tony first left Vision to keep Wanda and Pietro engaged as he took Natasha in. Like her adult self, the baby was calm and observant and Tony, despite his initial hesitation of bathing  _Natasha_ , quickly got over it. He made Friday pull up a quick video of how to bathe kids in a safe way and got to work. Thanks to some swift work from Pepper and a few extra wads of cash, the bath supplies had already been stored, relieving the genius of any stress regarding the wrong soap or shampoo.

Natasha giggled when Tony lightly washed her hair and grabbed for the running water, splashing it hard as she babbled away to glory.

"Uh-uh, uh-uh, you betcha," Tony nodded seriously when she garbled a questioning sound at him before getting a bob of her head.

"Aga guga bammb bi ga" she declared and Tony oooh-ed with wide eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, and then? Did he do it or not?"

"Baaam baam bu bu did di doo"

"That's good, that's good, right? I mean, I get that he's a bit creepy with the perennial scowling..."

"Haaaaaaa"

"Exactly, and the big bad meanie Hill agreed, didn't she?"

"Hoooooo"

"I know,  _lisichka_ ," he hummed as she grabbed her little fox toy and waved it in the air excitedly, "But honestly, gotta tell you, he does make an interesting character to have around."

"Boom boom boom"

"And that too I guess," Tony shrugged and reached back to pick up a fluffy towel off the nearby rack before carefully lifting baby Natasha off the bathtub and wrapping her up in the yellow fluffy towel.

"Good talk, baby chick," he grinned and blew a raspberry into the scrubbed clean toddler's cheek, getting a squeal and giggle as he carried the bundled girl to the dry area of the bathroom, "Let's get you all dolled up and we're good to go to Snoozeworld, okay?"

Natasha patted his cheek in reply and Tony bit his lip before swallowing hard at the sweet gesture. Shaking off any emotional welling for the moment, he made quick work of patting her dry, before going over the night time rituals and snapping on a fresh diaper onto her. Finally he picked up the light grey, spider web designed onesie pajama and slipped it onto her, being extra cautious while maneuvering the little hands and legs. Finally when he was satisfied, he picked her up again and walked out of the bathroom.

To come to a visual of a messy Pietro zooming around the room, making a mess out of the entire place as Vision was speaking softly into a clearly stressed Wanda's ears.

Shifting Natasha to one arm, Tony closed her ear with the other and let out a sharp whistle that brought everyone to a halt.

"Okay human bots, listen up," he said with a pointed yet fond look at Pietro and Wanda, "Road Runner, I'll let you run around the place for a whole hour tomorrow if you stop running right now. Magic Wanda, you okay?"

Wanda still looked queasy but Tony moved forward and crouched, adjusting a curious looking Natasha on his hip, leaning forward and brushing Wanda's hair off her forehead. The girl tensed at first, hint of red on her fingertips but then melted into the touch and ducked her face with a small smile. Being the incurable sap when it came to adorable smiles, Tony bent forward and kissed her on her head and rubbed his nose against her soft hair.

Pietro had stopped running by then and came closer, looking from Natasha to Tony to Wanda with a curious expression before he inched closer to Natasha and tilted his head at the baby girl. He was observing Tony petting Wanda's hair and imitated him by petting Natasha's hair, muttering nonsensical cooing words. Tony stifled a laugh at that but when Natasha, even as a baby, shot Pietro an unimpressed look and blew a raspberry, he lost it and began laughing.

Pietro looked confused but then moved on from the unimpressed Natasha to Tony, reaching up to pet his hair. The chuckling genius snorted softly but let the younger boy mess with his hair.

Bathing Pietro was...an experience. Tony had not gotten so wet bathing himself as he did bathing Pietro. Luckily for both of them, Tony was restless by nature and his quick thinking saved a couple of shampoo accidents. Dressing up Pietro in a white and blue striped pajamas, he took over Wanda from Vision.

Wanda was a curious bundle of wet hair and big grey eyes as she pointed and babbled about every little thing in the bathroom, right from the bath toys to the shower head. Tony kept up the chatter, only instructing her to pause when he was washing her hair. He smiled to himself when she scrunched her eyes shut tight and made a face as the suds were cleaned from her face. 

Wrapping her up in a fluffy yellow towel he toweled her hair, making machine noises as she vibrated with her chuckles. Once she was completely clean and dry, he changed her into her red rose and lillies pajamas and carried her out of the bathroom, to see Pietro explaining something nonsensical to a quietly nodding Vision as Natasha bounced in the android's arm. 

"Bed time kiddos," he announced finally to a groan from Pietro that was politely ignored but not before he was dragged down onto the bed and Pietro crawled over him to plop on his stomach.

******

" _Chindilan?_ " Tony asked Wanda as she yawned into his shirt and the little girl nodded against his chest, rubbing her nose on his soft, old t-shirt. " _Av akai"_ he murmured softly and carefully disentangled Pietro from his stomach, where the boy was practicing drums before sitting up and hoisting a sleepy Wanda onto his shoulder. Pietro whined and made complaining grunts when Tony tried to pick him up too but Tony simply raised his eyebrow and got up before pointedly looking at the little boy, waiting to let him decide if he wanted to follow them to sleep or if he wanted to stay back. Pietro scowled up at Tony but Tony was the king of pouting, so he simply gave the boy an unimpressed look, holding out a hand patiently. Finally, Pietro gave a theatrical huff and stood up, but instead of holding Tony's hand, raised his arms and gave a defiant look, implying that if his sister was going to be carried, he deserved that too.

Tony simply laughed softly, without jerking a drowsy Wanda and bent low to pick up the white-haired boy by the waist, instructing him to wrap his legs around Tony's hips. When Pietro tried kicking at Tony's back, the genius leaned back and faced Pietro calmly. " _Chavaia_ " he said quietly and Pietro huffed in exasperation but complied, flopping his head onto Tony's shoulder and burrowing his nose into the crook of Tony's neck. " _Nais Tuke_ " Tony murmured despite his teasing grin and shared a look with Vision who simply rolled his eyes and nodded, keeping a drowsy Natasha busy till Tony came back from putting the twins to sleep. 

Satisfied that the baby was safe, Tony turned around and carried the twins back to their room, which was Steve's old room for now, because that was closest to Steve and Tony's new suite. Once he reached the room, he walked towards the queen size bed and gently lowered Wanda first before following it with Pietro. Wanda grabbed Tony's neck as he moved to stand up and he saw her shaking her head frantically before looking at the empty space around her. Tony frowned for a second before he realized that she was scared of being alone in such a huge bed. Cautiously extracting her hand from his neck, he held it in one hand and used the other to re-arrange the extra throws and pillows on the bed around her. Pietro looked at it curiously and expectantly, so Tony did the same for him, pulling him to the center of the bed and fluffing pillows around him to form a cocoon of sorts.

" _Ov yilo isi?_ " he asked once he was done and Wanda nodded shyly, hugging the nearest pillow to her chest and rubbing her cheek against its softness. Her long brown hair was tied up into two braids from earlier and the ladybug scrunchies peeked from under a pillow. Pietro glanced between his sister and Tony for a few minutes before inching closer to Wanda and hugging her from the back, blinking up at Tony. The genius gave an impressed look at the protective gesture and leaned down to kiss both their foreheads. Pietro scrunched up his nose at the kiss and looked at Tony questioningly.

" _Soske?_ " Tony confirmed the doubt the kid was showing in his expression and Pietro looked indecisive before shaking his head and flopping onto the pillow again. Tony chuckled at that and kissed the boy's head once more deliberately, making him squirm despite the shy smile.

" _Ducaba tu_ " he muttered softly to both kids, remembering how he used to crave the same sentiment from his dad when he was this age and both the kids blinked at him, Wanda smiling softly and Pietro looking hesitant.

" _Chapite!_ " he exclaimed in a hushed tone and the little boy grinned against his sister's head. Petting both their heads one last time before wishing them a good sleep, Tony switched on the small floor lights in case they got scared of the dark and left the room quietly, waiting till he was sure both of them were asleep before slipping out.

*****

Steve came back after drying his hands when he heard the soft murmurs of a lilting voice he had heard hum countless times in the workshop. Putting Bucky and Sam to bed was like winning a mini-war and he felt bone-tired. He had already checked on the others and had definitely sympathized with Rhodey when he had seen the man sleeping curled around Bruce and Thor, clearly having been exhausted enough to not get up and go sleep in his own room. Now, he stood by the door, taking a moment, just a moment to peek in and watch the scene without being noticed. Watch Tony at his best, at his most vulnerable and happy moment with a quiet little Natasha in his arms, blinking up at him with her big green eyes. 

_Hush little baby, don't say a word,_

_Papa's gonna buy you a Thunderbird,_

Steve stifled a laugh at the typical modification of his boyfriend. Of course Tony would rather promise a high-functioning motorbike than a regular bird. Natasha didn't seem to mind though and Steve listened on.

_And if that Thunderbird don't speed,  
Papa's gonna buy you a big blue shield._

Okay, Steve had  **high** doubts about that but he reserved a reminder to talk to Tony later about promising vibranium shields to others, even as he smiled to himself.  
  
If that big blue shield is crass,  
Papa's gonna make you a Stark spyglass.

Steve rolled his eyes at that but knew that it wasn't all that improbable.

_And if that super spyglass should crack,  
Papa's gonna help you do  some fun carjack._

Steve was reminded of Natasha's hobby of carjacking just to check if she still had her stealth skills and eyed his slow dancing boyfriend with narrowed eyes.

_If that carjack plan don't pop,  
Papa's gonna build you a new workshop._

Steve made a note to inform Pepper about this one and also demand a copy of this from Friday later. Tony  _never_ let anyone claim his workshop theirs and here he was singing about building a new one.

_When that workshop is done,  
Papa's gonna make you another one._

Steve was a bit worried at the extravagance involved but brushed it aside to listen to the next verse.

_If that workshop is all blown up,  
Papa's gonna keep any snitch shut up._

Oh, that sneaky little -

_And if that sneaky old snitch still barks,  
Papa's gonna buy you some cool pet sharks._

Right, Steve thought wryly, because all Nat needed more was pet sharks to go with her pointy knives. He still felt a bit warm in his chest at the thought of little Nat with her beloved pets and smiled despite himself.

_If your pet sharks bring us all down,  
You'll still be the smartest girl in town._

This time Steve didn't even suppress his grin and came away from his hiding, entering the room with soft steps as he watched Tony hum the last part again to a droopy baby girl. Tony caught his eye and winked but kept rocking Nat till he was absolutely sure that she had drifted off.  

Steve helped Tony lay her in her crib and covered her with a fluffy spider blanket lightly brushing her downy red hair with a finger. Standing back up, he put an arm around Tony and gently guided him out of the room, the soft starlight of the ceiling lingering in their shadows.

"Nice rhyme," he commented with a poker face and Tony raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged with a grin. 

"You gotta be creative, honey," he said proudly, "And everyone knows, I don't follow fads. I create trends."

"Whatever you say, carjacker," Steve quipped with a hip bump to Tony that got a snort from the shorter man as they went to sleep in the adjacent room of the suite, having set the alert on for any disturbances from any of the kids. 

Steve woke up in the middle of the night when he heard a small noise in the room. Alert in seconds, he slowly sat up, shooting a look at his sleeping boyfriend to check if he was alright before his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room and the small figure standing by the door.

"Bruce?" he whispered and saw the young boy edge closer to the door. His whisper seemed to wake Tony up though and the genius blearily blinked open his eyes.

"Wha?" he asked hoarsely before he followed Steve's line of sight and squinted to make out Bruce's outline near the door, "Hey buddy, wanna come in?"

"I don't - I -" Bruce hesitated and then kept silent, scuffing his foot against the door jamb.

Tony elbowed Steve to move and the super-soldier acquiesced quietly, having gathered that Bruce was hesitant at initiating any form of friendly contact on his own usually.

"Come on, Brucie, look, Steve and I have so much space that's it's almost empty here. Come on, it'll be nice and warm," Tony encouraged and flipped open the duvet, waiting patiently for Bruce to decide.

Bruce seemed to consider his options before he slowly made his way to the bed and Tony held out his arms, lifting the boy onto the bed and placing hi right in the center.

"Hi" Steve said with a small smile and Bruce blinked up at him before nodding and leaning into Tony, who shared a look with Steve but shrugged.

"Fair warning," Tony announced theatrically, curling an arm around Bruce's thin shoulders, "Steve and I are big on cuddling, aren't we Steve?"

"Oh sure," Steve nodded, taking the hint and noting the wondrous look on Bruce's face, "I love cuddling. It's warm and nice and I sleep really well."

"It's okay?" Bruce asked quietly and Steve saw Tony's grip tightening slightly on the boy's shoulder.

"Sure it is, buddy," Tony answered firmly and proceeded to pull Bruce under the covers till he was hugging him tightly, "It's A-awesome."

"Okay," Bruce said shyly and Steve smiled at him when the boy looked up, lying back down and watching Tony murmur something that sounded like equations into Bruce's hair. Surprisingly, it worked wonders like a lullaby and the boy was sleeping quickly, face burrowed into Tony's chest.

It didn't take long for Thor to follow suit and enter their room, not bothering to wait at the entrance. The young God squinted at the bed for a minute before walking up to Steve's side and crawling _over_ him to push his way to the middle of the bed, demandingly settling himself behind Bruce's back. Steve watched with amusement as Thor dragged his hand across the boy's waist and made him cuddle the kids and Tony. Rolling his eyes and grinning to himself, Steve closed his eyes again.

Only to be woken up some time later by some more shuffling on the bed. He opened his eyes with a frown to see Sam and Bucky pushing Tony's legs till they made space for themselves and curled around the genius' thighs, Bucky huffing when Sam took up more space before shifting more and collapsing over Steve's stomach, a vice like grip around his middle daring Steve to unsettle him. Steve's eyes found Tony's over Bucky's head and shook his head in disbelief at the barely concealed mirth in Tony's sleepy gaze.

It wasn't really surprising when Vision came in after some time and dumped a confused and miserable looking Wanda on Tony's stomach followed by a smug looking Pietro near Bucky. Tony didn't really have the energy to protest and simply shifted Wanda to a more comfortable position on his chest and went back to sleep as Steve let Pietro burrow himself into his side.

By the time Phil came in and put a squirming Clint onto the pile, nobody cared and the archer kid simply blinked at the puppy pile of sorts before head-butting Tony's arm till he got the message and sleepily raised an arm for Clint to crawl up and rest his head on it.

"You're on spider baby duty," Tony informed blearily to a tired looking Phil and the agent shot him a look but nodded in defeat, knowing that if Natasha woke up and either Steve or Tony had to get up in the night, everyone else would wake up. Which would lead to disaster.

Sighing to himself he crept into the adjacent room to sleep there and keep a watch on Natasha, leaving Steve and Tony with their puppy pile.

*********

"You're not my daddy!" Sam yelled as Steve tried to explain bath time to him in vain in the morning, the little boy struggling against Steve's hold, pants dropped in defiance, "I hate you! I hate you! Get off me!"

"Sammy, we had a deal, right?" Steve said calmly, successfully crouching without getting kicked in the gut by the angry boy, "Breakfast, one clean bath and  _then_ robots. That was the deal you and I made."

"We did promise that," Bucky reminded from Sam's side, one hand clenched tight in a constant awareness of his other missing arm. Tony and Uncle Rhodey had explained that some bad guys had stolen his arm when he was sleeping before and that Tony was building him a better and new one, but it was still weird and Bucky was trying hard not to look at his side.

"No! I won't! I don't wanna!" Sam shouted, turning on Bucky suddenly, "You're stupid,  **you** go take a bath!"

"I ain't stupid and you're bein' a jerk," Bucky scowled.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Sam jeered, making Steve stunned at this new side of the guy he knew well, "You're stupid, that's why some guy took away your arm."

"They were bad guys and I ain't - you can't - you're a bully!" Bucky spat with a sputtering anger at not finding a good defense for his missing arm.

"I'm not a bully, you're just dumb," Sam shot back

"NO, YOU'RE DUMB!" Bucky yelled this time

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"YOU ARE!"

A scared whimper followed by the sound of a plastic bowl falling to the floor signaled Steve that another issue had cropped up and he looked up to see Bruce shaking on his chair, hands pressed against his ears and shaking his head vehemently, muttering something to himself.

"Problem?" Tony's voice floated in from the doorway and Steve caught his eyes before gesturing at Bruce. Tony understood immediately and nodded, walking forward casually before coming in front of Bruce and casually pouring water slowly into a glass.

Steve thanked the timely save in his mind before he placed his hands on the chests of both Sam and Bucky, keeping them apart pointedly. 

"No" he said firmly even as Sam opened his mouth again and met the boy's dark eyes with confident blue ones of his own, "Sam Wilson, do you know what a promise is? You're a smart kid and smart kids know what a promise means. Can you tell me what it means?"

Sam glared at Steve with a clenched jaw but Steve was nothing if an expert in patience and stubbornness of his own. He simply stared back pointedly till Sam sighed.

"It means you gotta do what you said you'd do," Sam said sullenly and Steve nodded before marching both the boys to their bath. Tony watched them go out of the corner of his eye but focused on the panicked Bruce at hand. Bruce's eyes are unfocused but Tony calmly keeps pouring water into the glass till it's full. Then he picks up another glass and transfers half of the first glass into it. He kept going at it, transferring water into almost five more glasses before Bruce focused on it and looked up at Tony with a frown.

"What're you doing?"

"I am proving the greatest theory of the world," Tony declared ominously and regarded his audience, Bruce, Clint and Thor, with a regal look, "My dear plebeians, this is the Stark theory of equality. If the water of one glass is divided equally into six glasses, it still remains the exact -"

"Noooo" Clint moaned and tugged on Bruce to escape from the place.

"I had a point to make, you rugrats!" Tony called out in a mock affronted tone but then turned to Thor and sighed, "Nobody understands my pearls of wisdom."

"You have wisdom?" Thor asked blankly and Tony blinked at the little god munching on poptarts.

"I used to have some," Tony said sadly and Thor offered him a poptart as consolation.

Later, when Tony was busy arguing with Fury over the phone and walking down the corridor, he caught sight of Sam and Bucky standing in front of Bucky's old room. He paused in his stride to observe what the two troublemakers were up to now and put Fury on hold without hesitation. Getting closer, he bit back a laugh when he saw Bucky level Sam with an unimpressed look as Sam fumbled over words in apology for what he had said in the morning.

He was about to pipe in and say something when he stopped and watched as Sam huffed and simply pulled Bucky by the shoulders. Bucky's eyes widened but Sam simply leaned his forehead against the taller boy's and rested it there stubbornly till Bucky relaxed.

Tony had to bite back a laugh when Bucky relaxed and bumped his head against Sam's with a small grin like the bull-headed kid he was. Sam though simply grinned cheekily before tugging on Bucky's hand and dragged him into the room, babbling something about floor art.

Grinning to himself, Tony put Fury off the hold and continued walking towards the workshop, ignoring the other man's yelling in favor of savoring the warmth of the small 'family' feeling he was having.

*******

"You're sure this will work?" Steve asked as he eyed the reverse ageing machine in front of him, sharing a look with Tony who was curiously observing the teenager who had finally been caught.

"Yes, Captain America. Of course, sir," the teenager, Teddy, nodded vehemently, looking part awed and part nervous standing in a room full of Avengers, most of them kids, "I'm so sorry sir, I didn't intend to de-age them. I was just looking to try it out on Loki and -"

"Yes, yes, get on with it, kid," Fury groused as he eyed the kid Clint near Phil with a suspicious eye, "We've wasted enough time."

Teddy nodded and guided them to put all the kids together inside the circle marked in Tony's workshop. Tony was wary about placing them there but Teddy looked minutes away from fainting out of nervousness so the genius complied and moved away to stand beside Steve.

One minute the kids were babbling, yelling or looking confused and the next minute the machine doused them in bright blue rays for a minute.

"Friday, sensors," Tony called out as all of them blinked to clear their vision of the bright spots till they could focus on the pile of unconscious but adult Avengers in place of the kids.

"Well, that solves the mole mystery," Phil commented blandly as he caught sight of Bucky sprawled nude over Clint before Steve got to his senses and threw a blanket over all of them, even as Tony rubbed his forehead.

It took them two hours to get all of them back to complete consciousness and get over the initial nausea after transformation. Hill and Coulson had taken Teddy aside and were giving him a nice break-down of what awaited him if he ever tried this again, even as they considered recruiting him into the junior SHIELD program.

Natasha was the first to wake up and she groaned out a littany of Russian curses before her eyes focused on her surroundings and she caught sight of the people standing around her.

"I hate kids" she said grouchily and Tony snorted, getting her attention and a surprised look, "You- wait, did you sing me a  _rhyme_?"

"Told you you'd be the smartest girl in town," Tony smirked and winked to get a weak chuckle from the Russian that made the SHIELD agents nervous. Bruce and Thor woke up next and immediately groaned something about hunger, followed by Clint, Sam and Bucky waking up with varying degrees of curses on their lips and glares at anyone around them.

Pietro woke up thanks to Clint's loud grumbles and promptly went back to sleep when he was sure that there was no danger around. Wanda was the last to wake up and blinked blearily as her eyes focused on the people around her.

"Hey, kiddo. You okay?" Tony asked with a grin and the young woman blinked a couple of more times before she frowned.

"What happened?" she asked as she shook her head and tried to focus. Tony shared a look with Steve before looking back at her.

"Nothing much, just some baby issues," he said with a shrug and she stilled, remembering things in a flash.

"Oh God!" she groaned and Tony laughed.

"Aww, it's okay Magic Wanda, you were just a kid," he said teasingly and she mock-glared at him but then said a bit seriously,

"Thanks, mom".

Nick Fury frowned at that and looked over the group of Avengers who had gathered around her bed by now, arranging themselves sloppily against each other, grousing and whining about everything. They're all tired and definitely in need of sleep but they're still here, standing with each other, some sitting on Wanda's bed half-asleep. And in the middle of this circle of complicated heroes is a grinning Tony Stark, one hand lazily placed over Bucky's shoulder where it is slumped against him and the other tapping randomly on Wanda's hand. Beside him stands Steve, looking over protectively at his entire team.

Something seems important in this picture, Nick thinks and observes it a bit carefully. It strikes him suddenly when Sam pushes Bucky and flops across his lap to rest his head on Tony's lap and Tony doesn't blink an eye. This is not a team anymore, Nick realizes. This is a family. One that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have somehow adopted without much fanfare. An old remark from Coulson rings in his head in that moment.

_Tony might have had the worst kind of childhood, but that doesn't make him any less of a mom in the team._

As he observes the group of people huddled around a bed, he realizes that the remark was made in serious thought. Because the word 'dad' might have represented everything cold to Tony Stark but it looks like the word 'mom' has brought out the warmth the world never got to see openly from the genius.

Genius, team mom, philanthropist, billionaire, Nick mused and quietly left to go add another successful mission of the Avengers family.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> According to Google, the Romani phrases and words mean as follows:  
> Av akai (Come here) - Chindilan? (Are you tired) - Ducaba tu (I love you) - Ov yilo isi? (Is this alright?) - Soske? (Why?) - 'Chavaia (Stop) - Chapite! (It's true!) - Nais Tuke (Thank you)
> 
> I live to make you cry and laugh and love and enjoy. Let me know if I did even one of these in this story? Feedback please my loves <3


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